


And Back Again

by Patricia_Sage



Series: Parabatai [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Malec, Parabatai, Parabatai Bond, Parabatai Feels, Possession, Post-Episode: s03e10 Erchomai, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 11:24:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14693184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patricia_Sage/pseuds/Patricia_Sage
Summary: Alec and Jace train for the first time since everything went to Hell.





	And Back Again

**Author's Note:**

> spoilers for S03E10: Erchomai  
> Apparently I can't get enough of that goddamn fight scene, so here's some parabatai aftermath. Feel free to read my story "Trapped" as a prequel to this, but it's not necessary.

A gloved hand forcefully closes the book just as Jace was almost done reading the last page of the chapter. It's a testament to his exhaustion that he didn't hear the other person come into the library.

"Train with me," Alec says. It's a statement, not a question. He's dressed in his gear and everything. Viewed from a seated position, Alec looks stoic and domineering, but Jace notices the shadows under his eyes and the tightness of his jaw. As Head of the Institute, Alec has many duties to fulfil in a time of crisis. In the two weeks since Lilith's demise he has organised regular search parties, fortified the safety of the Institute, and managed to maintain Downworlder cooperation and communication. Not to mention he had to take up these responsibilities immediately after healing from near death. And he's also been helping his boyfriend through a colossal life change.

It doesn't go unnoticed to Jace that he is to blame for everything. Alec is wearing himself thin attempting to fix the things he broke.

“I don’t know if I’m up for it, man.”

Alec tosses the book onto a nearby shelf and lifts Jace out of the chair by his arm. “Too bad.”

He lets himself be led to his room and then mechanically changes into his training gear. The weight of it feels foreign on his skin.

As they walk down the halls, Jace asks, “How are you?”

Alec lifts his chin and replies, “I’m okay.” It’s his automatic response whenever he’s asked that question. Jace knows it’s a lie.

“How’s Magnus?”

They reach the training room. Alec places his hand on the doorknob and sighs. “He’s…adjusting.” Jace feels an apology rising up in his throat but doesn’t let it out. Alec has too much to deal with right now, he doesn’t need to comfort his brother too. “I’ve actually been training with him a bit, too. He needs to learn how to protect himself differently than he’s used to.”

The training room is empty. The afternoon sun shines through the stained glass window. They have spent countless days in this room together, learning and growing into the Shadowhunters they were meant to be. Jace thinks about how simple everything was before. Now everything’s gone to Hell.

“I don’t know if I’m up for training today,” Jace says. He turns and Alec’s right there, pressing a seraph blade into his grasp. He holds Jace’s hand for a moment, looking at him with calm and understanding eyes.

Grabbing his own seraph blade, he says, “This was the room where you first asked me to be your _parabatai_.”

“I remember.”

Alec gently grasps the back of his brother’s neck with his free hand. “Saying yes was the best decision I’ve ever made.” Jace nods.

They separate, moving into fighting stances across the room from each other. It’s something they’ve done thousands of times. Jace understands why Alec brought him here; they both need to be grounded in familiarity.

Alec makes the first move, lunging forward and slashing in a diagonal movement. Jace allows himself to forget everything else and gets lost in the clockwork of their movements. They’re both going easy on each other, enjoying the partnership of it.

At first it’s nice. Jace feels like his old self. Twisting and turning, springing off walls, he allows himself to try new moves on his brother. He remembers how it feels to be proud of his fighting prowess. He thinks of improving, getting better so he can protect the ones he loves.

He falters, remembering. Clary’s not here to protect.

“Hey!” Alec shoves him in the chest with his free hand. “Focus.”

_Lunge – block – kick – jump_. They’re dancing once more. Jace needs to get her face out of his mind, so he moves faster, strikes harder. He needs to work hard enough to forget about the defeated hunch of Magnus’ shoulders, the way Simon broke down on the rooftop. He needs to use all his energy so he has none left to think about the look on Luke’s face when he told him.

Alec’s body is weak from exhaustion and he is easy to overpower when faced with Jace’s determined ferocity. His seraph blade clatters to the training room floor and his back slams against the wall. Jace pins him there for a moment and suddenly the midday sun is replaced with darkness. The air smells of garbage and he’s back in the alleyway.

Jace is barely aware of Alec saying his name. He’s got an iron grip on Alec’s right wrist from when he disarmed him. All he can see is his brother’s heaving chest, all he feels are the fragile bones underneath his skin. He remembers how it felt to break them. He remembers how Alec screamed.

“Jace. Jace, look at me.”

Through the haze of panic, he follows the order and meets his parabatai’s hazel eyes. “Everything’s okay,” Alec says calmly, “You’re at the Institute. You’re in control.”

His vision starts to clear and suddenly he can hear the beeping of Institute monitors and the marching of Shadowhunter feet. Jace lets go of Alec’s wrist like it burned him. He places the palm of his shaking hand against the center of his Alec’s chest, feeling his brother’s heartbeat under the place where the arrow had pierced. Jace feels a tear run down his cheek.

Alec reaches for him and pulls him into a tight hug. Jace breathes into the fabric of his parabatai’s shirt and listens to the strong sound of his voice. “It’s okay. It wasn’t you. I know it wasn’t you.” The words are meant to comfort, but they also make Jace feel sick. He can’t forget those same words spoken in that alleyway, gasped out on rattling, final breaths.

When Jace can breathe normally again, they separate. “After…what happened,” Jace whispers, “How can you stand to be around me? How can you want to train with me?”

“You’re my _parabatai_ , Jace.”

“That didn’t stop me last time!” He turns away, not wanting to see the kindness in Alec’s eyes. “That creature hurt you because I knew how to beat you. It knew everything I knew and it almost killed you! What’s going to stop me if something takes me again?” These last words are spoken in a whisper, almost as if he didn’t mean to let them out.

Alec grabs his shoulder and turns him around. “I am never going to let anything take you again.” His eyes are bright and fierce.

Jace’s are filled with tears, but he responds just as vehemently. “And I’m never going to let anything hurt you like that again.”

They had taken two separate trips to Hell, but they’d be damned if they weren’t coming back again together.


End file.
